Last Updated: July 15, References. To create this article, 72 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed , times. Learn more While money does not equate to compatibility or love, it is certainly an attractive quality in a partner.

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This paper draws on ethnographic and interview based fieldwork to explore accounts of intimate relationships between widowed women and poor young men that emerged in the wake of economic crisis and a devastating HIV epidemic among the Luo ethnic group in Western Kenya. I show how the cooptation of widow inheritance practices in the wake of an overwhelming number of widows as well as economic crisis resulted in widows becoming providing women and poor young men becoming kept men. I illustrate how widows in this setting, by performing a set of practices central to what it meant to be a man in this society — pursuing and providing for their partners – were effectively doing masculinity.

I will also show how young men, rather than being feminized by being kept, deployed other sets of practices to prove their masculinity and live in a manner congruent with cultural ideals. This paper draws on ethnographic and interview based fieldwork to explore accounts of relationships between widowed women and poor young men that emerged in the wake of economic crisis and a devastating HIV epidemic among the Luo ethnic group in Western Kenya.

I show how the cooptation of widow inheritance practices in the wake of an overwhelming number of widows as well as economic crisis resulted in widows becoming providing women 1 and poor young men becoming kept men.

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In The Dragonfly Pool, Eva Ibbotsen writes ”you cannot stop the birds of sorrow from flying overhead, but you can stop them nesting in your hair. This is true widow both the past dating of anyone new you might meet. Indeed, you cannot expect that every new date will be perfection but you can approach them with the right frame of mind.

Do give yourself a chance — if your attempt at dating ends in tears, young kind and patient and applaud yourself for having given it a go. That’s the way forward. Hilda Burke is a West-London based integrative psychotherapist, who has been working with clients on a broad range of issues, including bereavement, infertility, websites, abuse and depression for four years. See more articles written by Hilda Burke.

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Jump to navigation. Moving on from losing a partner is one of the hardest things a person can deal with. As psychotherapist Hilda Burke explains, everyone’s experience is different and there are no hard rules about when to move on. This can mean different things for different people: some may want to get remarried, while others might want to start with friendship and go from there. No matter which approach you prefer, when trying out widower or widow dating it is vital to take the time to work out just what it is you want from a new potential partner.

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